I'm having a conflict right now as to how much detail I want to blog here about what I'm feeling these days. Needless to say, from my title tonight, I had a bit of an "episode" earlier on. Danard happened to be looking over my shoulder, and told me that I shouldn't be writing so much detail about what's been happening (this is my 2nd draft of this post). His feeling is that he's worried that someone at work - or otherwise - might read what I'm posting, and "turn it against me" somehow, as he put it.
Personally, my own delimma would be how much crap does everyone out there reading, really want to know about my personal meltdowns. Maybe a public forum isn't the best place for that, but it does have a therapeutic value to it. So, I'm not sure what to do.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Especially those who I work with at said job, and know the politics that go on there. Let's take a poll, lol. Maybe no one wants to hear this stuff anyway. I wonder if everyone reading is just getting so sick of my bitching and complaining that I should just not talk about this stuff anymore, especially in a public forum. There's of course, always the business that I'm working on building. Does it look really bad for me as a practitioner - someone who's supposed to be able to help others through their own shit - to have potential clients, or students, or whatever - read that I'm not able to manage my own life at this particular moment?
I worry that by me writing this stuff "out there", that it will damage my ability to build this business, once I'm on the other side of this meltdown, and have gotten through it. Will this permanently ruin my reputation? ...if I even have one to begin with, that is.
Just a lot of questions that I have right now. Just curious as to what y'all think about this? Maybe I'm worrying over nothing.
Anyhoo...on a positive note...yes there is one in here somewhere. I got great news on what I'll be getting back on my tax return. I won't give the amount, but it was more than I was expecting. So, between that, my claim that I have to submit for the extended health care that I have from work for the massage, chiropractic and councelling sessions that I've paid for - I'll get reimbursed for all that as well. Plus, my paycheck, and the savings that I have (which isn't the $918 thats currently showing on the meter...more bills, ugh!), I'm in pretty good shape. If my calculations are correct, I'll actually have more than my goal savings on the meter. WooHoo!!! I'm pretty happy about that.
Anyhoo. That's all I have the energy to write at the moment. I'm going to go sit in the tub for a while. My brain hurts, amongst other things. Time for a time out.
More later...
Morgana
Posted by
Candice
1 comments:
There is an old saying, "Prudence is a virture" and I agree that there is value in tempering what you write for public display. Words have a lot of power when they are written, especially negative words, so if you are writing for an audience that may already be predisposed to negative thinking, you could inadvertedly draw them further into it, despite your best intentions. Once its out there you can't take it back.
That being said, you have to get that stuff out somehow, part of the process is recognizing that everyone has baggage they need to work through. If you were perfect and totally in control, you wouldn't be a credible healer, in my mind. I believe that as an intuitive practitioner you have a greater responsibility to deal with your emotions in a healthy, productive and safe way. Thoughts are things, and you can heal or hurt with them, so maybe an alternative way to deal with the "rough draft" is in order ( For example a private blog that no one sees or a private journal written long hand)
Above all do what is right for you.
I send you thoughts of clarity and greater purpose today.
Cheers
HB
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